Friday, 30 July 2010


Even my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted
(relied on and was confident), who ate of my bread,
has lifted up his heel against me.
Psalm 41:9

Tangible is defined as: capable of being touched or felt; having real substance

If we are honest, most of us would have experienced the reality of the opening verse. When we found ourselves in trouble, we look around and we see no one, but air. Your friends friends or thought you could at least rely on, seemed to have emigrated from the planet, just when you needed them the most.

I have learnt that adversity often brings us face-to face with the need to question our circle of influence, those around us.  It will cause us to associate with a different people, from all works of life, people that we might never have met or given the time of the day.  This is always a good thing.  It will also move us to severe ties with those who we have unwise associations with - it could be a friend, an employer, an employee or partner. Inevitably there will be times when adversity will force us to really look at the peope we relate to within our world and to look within to see if we make frienship easy.  Are we a friendly people?

However, in the Bible, through the relationship between David and Jonathan, we see a good model of true friendship. 

When we read 1 Samuel 20, we see that Jonathan was moved to do tremendous things for his friend David. This was because of the love and loyalty towards him. Jonathan did the following:

  • He warned David of possible danger from his father Saul. Read 1 Samuel 19:1-3 for completion
  • He spoke well of David, even to those who thought David was an enemy. Read 1 Samuel 19:4 for completion
  • He went the extra mile to do what David needed him to do.  He saw the situation David was in and asked what he could do to help him.  He did not have to wait for David to beg or plead. Willingly he requested and did what David asked Him. Read 1 Samuel 20:4-20 for completion
  • He risked his very life by defending David to his father. I mean Saul nearly nailed him to the wall with a spear! Now that is bravery for a friend. Read 1 Samuel 20:32 - 33
  • He helped David to escape Death by his father Saul.  Read 1 Samuel 20: 35 - 41

Now after reading the above, I thought to myself, I really must brush up on some of my friendship skills! Yikes!!  It makes me ask questions such as - how many of us will put our lives in danger to help a friend?

Taking into consideration the current economic climate of this world, some of our friends might be going through a rough patch, finding it a difficult to keep their heads above water, day after day, so I ask:
  • How many of us will forgo that holiday to pay a friend's mortgage, bills or save them from going completely under?
  • How many of us will take a friend and their family to the shops and buy thier montly grocery?
  • How many of us will take our eyes off ourselves for a minute, see out and take the time to ask a friend how they are doing; without having to wait for that friend to come and ask or beg for help; knowing fully well that they need it. 
  • How many of us like Jonathan, is willing to lay down his/her life for a friend, if we have to? Selah...

"An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.
Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars".
Proverbs 18:19

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul describes what should be the ingridients of true friendship; to Christians and non- Christians alike. Some of what Paul advices for us to have is: politeness, selflessness, positive, free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness, roted in truth.  It is also hopeful, supported, sees the best in people and endures till the end.  Please read 1 Corinthians 13 for completeness.

Friendship starts within us, we must first learn to be a friendly person as we are taught in Proverbs 18:24, which reads "A man who has friends must himself be friendly...".

Yes, it might be a bit difficult with all the things we have to juggle on a daily basis, but we must make time to make friends and nurture friendship. It does not have to cost much either. Thank God for technology, we can send emails, chat and call for free on Skye and much more.  I encourage us all to do what we can to establish and keep the friendship connection flowing. Remeber, God created us to be Relational beings.

My hope is that especially in the times we are living in, that the essence and example from Jonathan and David's friendship will be eminent in our lives.  I encourage us to submit to the Holy Spirit and He will help bring to attention areas within  us that may require a little work to help us build stringer and effective relationships.   I sure know I need some help, how about you?

If you don't have a lot of close friends, don't be too hard on yourself.  Remember, true friendships are a rare treasures. Besides, they take time to establish, build up and it requires a lot of wisdom, patience and commitment.   So start with developing or nuturing one meaningful frienship, taking it one day at a time and go from there.

Establishing healthy relationships and friends is a process, which when we rely on God to help us, makes us become more like Jesus Christ.

Have a wonderful weekend filled with love, laughter and the richness only true friendship can bring.

Friends will come
friends will go
A true friend, your hand 
they will always hold

Friends will come
friends will go 
A true friend heart delights 
in watching you prosper and grow

Much Love, Remi
***pictures by google***






I've been absolutely blessed reading this. Indeed, friendship starts from the inside; from within. I also believe true friendship has its roots in love. ...and only God teaches such love. Without God, it'd be difficult to love unconditionally. So, I agree with you when you said, "Establishing healthy relationships and friends is a process, which when we rely on God to help us, makes us become more like Jesus Christ."

I am one that cherishes friendship and would do all to keep my friends but there are just some one can't keep - as you said, "friends come, friends go..." May God help us :)

Thanks for sharing once again.


Jaycee said...

After reading this post I also thought, "men, I need to brush up on my friendship skills." The chaos of life sometimes causes us not to bother about strengthening our friendships. Sometimes, I don't even know how to continue being friends with certain folks.

Someone once said to me that "every extra friendship is high maintenance."

Rainyjoy said...

hi Remi, i must commend you on this beautiful note. it really ministered to me. most people who i've called friends only stick to me because they need something from me , not really because they love me as a friend but am glad that recently God has opened my eyes to see those once who genuinely care for me and want the best for me.

it hasn't been easy for me when it comes to friendship levels, been through a lot of back stabbing and betrayals , maybe because i am open and i trust easily. sometimes, i wonder why i am the way i am but it is God who has given me such a tender heart and i can't change it but every pain has made me stronger and am learning what true friendship really means.

thank you so much for sharing.
lots of love
remain blessed

TayneMent said...

I can boldly say that I would be willing to do the things you listed but I can't boldly say that I would lay my life down for a friend. Thank you for this.

jhazmyn said...

Thanks for this Remi, i so need brushing up too...and thanks to this post I have called on some friends that i know are going through rough patches and I'm glad i reached out without them asking for it.

I hope this reminder stays long in my heart...I need to be a worthy friend cos my friends deserve it

Debbie said...

Wordup girl. You couldn't have said it better. this is exactly the burden i have in my heart as I've seen so many people lose their jobs, close friend and foe alike. I have asked God to make me a blessing.

The proverbs says he who wants friend will first have to show himself friendly.

I have deliberatly decided not to go on holiday or shope in the sales so that I can bless others. this is not a boast, it is just that I couldn't justify doing those things when those around me are in dire need.

Thank you for sharing.


disgodkidd said...

i have not been here n a while. i need to reconnect...

Zoe Believer said...

Thanks for this note, I thought I was doing well until I saw 'how many of you will forego your holiday to help a friend with their mortgage'

I don't have many friends but I pray to be a true friend to the few I have. Dear Father, I pray that your grace be sufficient. You know how often I want to give up but help me to endure to the end, not to be weary of well doing for in the end I will reap if I faint not.

David C Brown said...

As I understand the scripture you start with it refers prophetically to the Lord Jesus as betrayed by Judas. It shows that He has been in the kind of circumstance you describe - and worse. Because of that He can be a sympathising Priest, and our unfailing Friend. And our example.