TANGIBLE FRIENDSHIPS

Even my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted

(relied on and was confident), who ate of my bread,

has lifted up his heel against me.

Psalm 41:9

Tangible is defined as: capable of being touched or felt; having real substance

If we are honest, most of us would have experienced the reality of the opening verse. When we found ourselves in trouble, we look around and we see no one, but air. Your friends friends or thought you could at least rely on, seemed to have emigrated from the planet, just when you needed them the most.

I have learnt that adversity often brings us face-to face with the need to question our circle of influence, those around us.  It will cause us to associate with a different people, from all works of life, people that we might never have met or given the time of the day.  This is always a good thing.  It will also move us to severe ties with those who we have unwise associations with - it could be a friend, an employer, an employee or partner. Inevitably there will be times when adversity will force us to really look at the peope we relate to within our world and to look within to see if we make frienship easy.  Are we a friendly people?

However, in the Bible, through the relationship between David and Jonathan, we see a good model of true friendship. 

When we read 1 Samuel 20, we see that Jonathan was moved to do tremendous things for his friend David. This was because of the love and loyalty towards him. Jonathan did the following:

• He warned David of possible danger from his father Saul. Read 1 Samuel 19:1-3 for completion
• He spoke well of David, even to those who thought David was an enemy. Read 1 Samuel 19:4 for completion
• He went the extra mile to do what David needed him to do.  He saw the situation David was in and asked what he could do to help him.  He did not have to wait for David to beg or plead. Willingly he requested and did what David asked Him. Read 1 Samuel 20:4-20 for completion
• He risked his very life by defending David to his father. I mean Saul nearly nailed him to the wall with a spear! Now that is bravery for a friend. Read 1 Samuel 20:32 - 33
• He helped David to escape Death by his father Saul.  Read 1 Samuel 20: 35 - 41

Now after reading the above, I thought to myself, I really must brush up on some of my friendship skills! Yikes!!  It makes me ask questions such as - how many of us will put our lives in danger to help a friend?

Taking into consideration the current economic climate of this world, some of our friends might be going through a rough patch, finding it a difficult to keep their heads above water, day after day, so I ask:

• How many of us will forgo that holiday to pay a friend's mortgage, bills or save them from going completely under?
• How many of us will take a friend and their family to the shops and buy thier montly grocery?
• How many of us will take our eyes off ourselves for a minute, see out and take the time to ask a friend how they are doing; without having to wait for that friend to come and ask or beg for help; knowing fully well that they need it. 
• How many of us like Jonathan, is willing to lay down his/her life for a friend, if we have to? Selah...

"An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.

Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars".

Proverbs 18:19

 
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul describes what should be the ingridients of true friendship; to Christians and non- Christians alike. Some of what Paul advices for us to have is: politeness, selflessness, positive, free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness, roted in truth.  It is also hopeful, supported, sees the best in people and endures till the end.  Please read 1 Corinthians 13 for completeness.

Friendship starts within us, we must first learn to be a friendly person as we are taught in Proverbs 18:24, which reads "A man who has friends must himself be friendly...".

Yes, it might be a bit difficult with all the things we have to juggle on a daily basis, but we must make time to make friends and nurture friendship. It does not have to cost much either. Thank God for technology, we can send emails, chat and call for free on Skye and much more.  I encourage us all to do what we can to establish and keep the friendship connection flowing. Remeber, God created us to be Relational beings.

My hope is that especially in the times we are living in, that the essence and example from Jonathan and David's friendship will be eminent in our lives.  I encourage us to submit to the Holy Spirit and He will help bring to attention areas within  us that may require a little work to help us build stringer and effective relationships.   I sure know I need some help, how about you?

If you don't have a lot of close friends, don't be too hard on yourself.  Remember, true friendships are a rare treasures. Besides, they take time to establish, build up and it requires a lot of wisdom, patience and commitment.   So start with developing or nuturing one meaningful frienship, taking it one day at a time and go from there.

Establishing healthy relationships and friends is a process, which when we rely on God to help us, makes us become more like Jesus Christ.

Have a wonderful weekend filled with love, laughter and the richness only true friendship can bring.

Friends will come

friends will go

A true friend, your hand 

they will always hold

Friends will come

friends will go 

A true friend heart delights 

in watching you prosper and grow

Much Love, Remi
***pictures by google***

BSL TRANSLATION OF POST

(PRESS PLAY)

.

Relational Beings...

God created man as relational being. This is evident from when He created Adam as we read in Genesis 1:26-27, which reads "Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” 27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them".

Relationship is defined as a connection, association, or involvement.

Adam's first relationship was with God. He had a connection, an association and an involvement with God. However, I God wanted to increase the relational experience of man, so he created Eve. This we read in Genesis 2:18, which reads "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

God does want us to have relationships; but the right ones and manage them adequately.

The pattern of forming or creating and managing relationships can be likened to that of the harvest, and the steps are: Conditioning the soil, sowing the seed, watering the seed, and then reaping a harvest.

For relationships, we can write the pattern as including: Introduction, Acquaintance, Friendship and Intimacy.

In relationships, at the beginning we condition our hearts (soil) through introduction to an individual, then we get acquainted (sowing he seed) by getting to know them. When we like what we see and perceive, we then move further to work on the friendship (watering the seed) through spending time with the individual. When we are sure and affirmed and confident of the individual in areas such as their believes and maturity, we finally we move into intimacy(reaping a harvest), and this could mean marriage, or having the individual as a close friend.

In today's society, most are used to having everything in an instant. Fast cars, fast meals, fast life... and therefore fast relationships. With all this 'fastness' the relational management of most has become faulty, or none existent.

Most people seem to go from introduction to intimacy in a very short period of time, showing that they want the benefit of commitment without actually being committed to the relationship. For example, two people living together, is called involvement. However, two people married and living together, is called commitment.

Not all relationships in our lives should move on to the next level. some are meant to stay at Introduction, or Acquaintance level (pointing finger to self at this point!). It is the fact of life that there will be some people, who will be closer to us than others.

We can learn more about relational management from the life of Jesus Christ.

Jesus had a special relationship with twelve men, His disciples, as we read in Matthew 10:2-4. However, amongst those twelve men, Jesus had a special relationship with three of them - Peter, James and John. This we are affirmed when he took them up a mountain to be alone. This we read in Mathew 17:1, which reads "Six days later Jesus took Peter and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone". Within those three men, Jesus had an even closer relationship with one of them, John.

Jesus also had relationship with other people that He managed. He had relationships with the Pharisees, He even had dinner with them. He also had relationships with His family and the people He ministered to along His way. It seemed that throughout His life, Jesus managed the people around Him, relationally, seamlessly.

To us all, the question is "How are we doing with the relationships in our lives?"

What if I have someone occupying the wrong space, relationship wise, in my life, what do I do? I hear you ask. Well we could do the following:

• Retrain: This means to review, re-asses and re-instate the nature form and shape of the relationship. It means that we could try to re-invest into the individual by putting more effort into the relationship to build it, for example spending more time with them or getting involved more in their life, and them ours, in the hope of experiencing growth.



• Reposition: This means that we reposition the space the this person takes in our lives. For example, if we have someone at the intimacy level, and we know they are not meant to be there, we must re-asses the relationship and move them to the right level within our lives, or if need be retire the relationship completely. This however, is not an easy thing to do because with relationships comes expectations. When expectations are not met, problems will most definitely ensue, but we must manage them all the same.



• Retire: if the two above does not work, then it might be safe to part ways, amicably.

What is the nature, shape and form of the relationships in your life? Do you need to retrain, move or retire a few of them?

For relationships to work, they must occupy the right space, and managed so that the right investment (time and resource) is spent on them, therefore providing and yielding the right reward (harvest) to both parties, all for God's glory.

Have a great time being the all relational being that God created you to be, making Him famous along your way.

Much Love

Remi

***Picture by glimbo.com***